If You Can't Say Anything Nice...

I am pretty sure we have all heard, if not from our mothers then somewhere,  'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.'  I am one to often analyze things, maybe even over-analyze and this is cause for pause for me.  Doesn't saying nothing really say tons?  For example, someone shares something with you that you don't at all think is a good idea.  Silence?  That seems to shout disapproval. Doesn't it?

Paul says in Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."  Nothing nice to say.  And so, silence?

In his letter to the Philippians, in chapter 4 verse 8 he says "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

The problem is being able to remember one of these passages at those awkward times... something helpful, beneficial, noble, admirable....you get the idea.  Right?  That generally doesn't happen for me.  However, God knew when He inspired those words that there would be times when an encouraging or positive response would be hard to come up with.  But He still says it.

'According to their needs' might be a key little phrase.  Maybe the person's need is to simply have someone listen. One thing we can be sure of:  they weren't sharing because they wanted to sound ignorant or evil nor were they looking for criticism.  And possibly, if we really try, we can find SOMETHING, whether it be true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy or helpful to include in our response.  Maybe?

Pausing before we speak is such a good practice to develop.  A quick answer isn't impressive; especially if it's surfacey or even worse, critical. And who is it we should be striving to impress anyway?

I think we can say something when we 'can't say anything nice'.  It might require a little insight.  A little discipline in the pause-creating practice. Which definitely requires wisdom from above.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.  James 3:17

THAT wisdom, wisdom from above, is sometimes correcting, and sometimes it smarts, but it is always encouraging.  God never corrects us to hurt us,or to make Himself sound smart.  And sometimes He is silent on a matter... for a time.  A pause.